10.27.2010

An Honest Post & A Song

In the Silence

Yesterday I learned about the music of Jason Upton. He's a Christian singer. I'd fallen away from Contemporary Christian music over the last few years. Sometimes it's based on awful theology or it's super cheesy.

But I'm quite thankful thankful thankful to have been introduced to Jason's music yesterday. Today I heard a song (and have since listened about 1,000,000 times) that just about perfectly speaks how I am feeling lately, and it's a huge gift. The name of the song is "In the Silence" - here's a Youtube link. The lyrics will follow.

Me Being Real: My heart is struggling lately. Sometimes (or far too often) I feel like God is being silent in my life. But all day (everyday) I see and hear God moving in other people's lives, so I know God is here. And usually I think to myself, "Emily, God is not being silent. Toughen up. You're a pastor." Also, I love to pray for other people & with other people - but personally, I feel like I don't even know how or what to pray for anymore. I don't have any more words; I'm tired of pleading and begging for healing.

But then I heard this song, and it helped. The point of the song is, "In the silence, God is speaking." I also really like the line, "I'd rather stand here speechless with no great words to say, If my silence is more truthful..."

The truth is, God knows what's up in my heart and on my mind. Who do I think I'm fooling? God knows I don't even feel like praying about my stupid blood anymore and I feel scared. And I think it's safe to say I'm not alone in this feeling of speechlessness. We're all there sometimes, right? We have experiences that leave us overwhelmed and we feel like God is being silent. Sometimes these experiences last for a day - sometimes for a month - sometimes for years.

But in that silence, God is speaking: "I am here." And I pray we have ears and hearts and hope enough to hear.

"In the Silence" by Jason Upton

Tired of telling you, you have me
When I know you really don't
Tired of telling you I'll follow
When I know I reallly won't

Cause I'd rather stand here speechless
With no great words to say
If my silence is more truthful
And my ears can hear how to walk in your way

In the silence
You are speaking
In the quiet I can feel the fire
And it's burning, burning deeply
Burning all that it is that you desire to be silent, in me

Oh Jesus can you hear me?
My soul is screaming out
And my broken will cries teach me
What your Kingdom's all about
Unite my heart to fear you,
To fear your holy name
And create a life of worship
In the spirit and truth of your loving ways

2 comments:

  1. Hey Em!
    Just wanted you to know that I know I'm thinking about you and your spleen.
    I think those shoes are amazing and would work well in all 3 places you mentioned.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Hey Em!
    Just wanted you to know that I know I'm thinking about you and your spleen.
    I think those shoes are amazing and would work well in all 3 places you mentioned.

    ReplyDelete